now more than ever.

Eight months ago, I found myself in the middle of a dream come true. Sitting next to me was a handsome man I now call my husband that years prior to that moment I didn't even know. While I sat, staring at water that appeared to be so pure, so perfect and full of hope, I waited for the creatures I knew would soon appear. Anticipation. Excitement. Hope.

The music started and they appeared. So majestic and surreal to me - this beautiful animal that I had only seen pictures of or read stories about - was now right in front of me. I smiled, as though they were smiling back at me; as though our hearts were now connected somehow that I saw them in person. I envisioned myself there; in the tank as though I belonged there with them, just as I had done so often growing up. My face continued to beam as my heart filled with joy; my love at my side and this dream taking place before my very eyes.

Today, I have a difficult time with my emotions; reliving the picture, the sounds and the feelings all while in the back of my head I fight the issue of captivity as brought forth in the documentary, The Cove. Today, in those very waters photographed by our camera in Orlando, a trainer by the name of Dawn Brancheau, lost her life to one of these majestic creatures. A trainer that we, along with millions of others, watched in amazement as she worked with these animals. You can read the story here. The sinking feeling in my stomach cannot be explained but for reasons beyond my control, I fought back tears as I watched the numerous videos documenting the whales in their tanks thinking how unfair their existence has become. This life that they have been forced to live, is not truly a life at all but merely a captive existence.

I was one of the millions who dreamed of going to Sea World; I was one of probably thousands who dreamed of working as a marine mammal trainer to these very whales and dolphins someday; I was one that completely bought into the captivity industry. But I don't know if I can find joy where I only see sadness...if I can find purpose where I only see dollar signs...if I can find hope where I only see suffering.

In the words of a man I not only highly respect but admire, Richard O'Barry states that " Dolphins [and whales] are free-ranging, intelligent, and complex wild animals, and they belong in the oceans, not playing the clown in our human schemes." We need to see the bigger picture...we need to end it...now more than ever.